I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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