Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
