i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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