first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
