My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
