The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
