Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
