I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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