I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
