Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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