i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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