and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
