I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Randomize
