it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
