pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
