Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My vagina is officially offended.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
