there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
