I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
