I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
