hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
