you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
