I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Betty ford says i'm here all night
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
