I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
