you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
