just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
