Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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