Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
