The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
