is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
