i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
