well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
