Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
