If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
