Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
