Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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