I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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