i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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