He uses pillows to masturbate.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
