It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
