I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
