Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
