It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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