The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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