is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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