I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
