Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
