Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
