this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
