I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
