Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
