i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
