I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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