Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
