Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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