Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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