i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
